Reasons why relationships come to an end when they have just started.

Have you ever wondered why people cheat, have you ever been so good to your significant other and they still cheated on you? 

Well I have been a victim once. Not all relationships always end up the way we planned. But we still give it a try anyway. At first I thought true love was easy, I thought it was just like in the movies where girl meets boy and they end up being soul mates.

 Well, that’s not true. True love is a struggle, true love its self is a journey of lots of mistakes. True love can be obtained only if you want it. 

Have you ever been with someone who makes you so happy, someone you feel so safe with, someone you can’t wait to see at the end of the day? 

 Different people have different reasons as to why they cheat. Some people always say why not leave someone if you’re bold enough to cheat on them. Well it’s not as easy as it seems. Nobody is perfect and I know many people will criticize me for this but that’s it.

 Someone once told me that “you won’t need your past but those mistakes will always be an indicator. History repeats its self but this time round you will be ready”. 

Here are some of my opinions as to why people cheat on their significant other.

1. Some people cheat out of anger. Cheating is at times used for revenge hence doing it out of anger. At times some people cannot control their anger issues. If you annoy her/him or even if it’s just something unusual they resort to cheating. Forexample if you promised to see her this weekend and you postponed to the next and the next, now right there is when some Mr. “I am here for you comes in”.

2.Unusual change of the significant other. Now some people always pretend to be something they are not at the start of the relationship. 

All the midnight calls, dates, flowers, private weekends and more. But when they are months or even years into the relationship they start pulling away. The daily check up phone calls change to only one call per two days. 

The weekend night dates varnish and so on. Some people hate change the moment they start feeling unwanted or not cared for that the moment they consider someone else. Dating someone for three years doesn’t mean you should stop calling them it doesn’t mean you should get to comfortable and neglect them.

3.Falling out of love. Falling out of love is normal. You might date someone and after a period of time you notice that they are not what you actually want. 

Well falling out of love has many causes but in most cases there is nothing to be done about it. You can’t force someone to actually love you again. That’s why even long term relationships of whether 8 years or 10 also come to an end eventually.

4.Relationship commitment issues. In my past years I’ve come across people who are scared of commitment. Maybe they were hurt by their lovers in the past years. But whatever the case is, such people will never settle in just one relationship. Today she’s with tom and by next month she’s tired and wants Jack. 

So at times it’s not really your fault that someone you love cheated on you. Sometimes it’s just that they are not ready for commitment. Maybe they just want a casual relationship or they cheat to get a way out of the relationship. 

5.Unplanned situations. This may seem unreal but I think it’s the reason that causes 50 percent of cheating scenarios. At times married men go to bars and drink themselves silly. 

With time they can’t even control themselves and the next thing you know he is hooking up with some random girl. This wasn’t planned for. Then at times women throw themselves at men and vice versa. I think at times people cheat not because they don’t love their partners but just because of situational forces or too much availability of targets.

6.Frustration in a relationship. Some relationships are toxic and some partners don’t seem to understand their significant other. Relationships and marriage aren’t planned to always be perfect like in the movies. 

They will always be full of ups and downs but what matters is how you both handle the situation. Do not give your partner the space to think of getting something extra on the side. If he or she’s not happy about something then talk it through. Get to know how to act better from the opinions for what he/she has said.

7.Sexual problems or indifferences. Just a simple sexual desire problem can make someone cheat. That’s if their targets are not reached by the partner. They cheat to get what they actually want but can’t get. But in my opinion all this can be avoided by being open to you partner. Tell him/her what you really want. Your partner doesn’t have superpowers to actually know what you like to be done to you if you don’t tell them. 

8.Unmet needs. Its 2020 people go into relationships hoping to obtain different things from the relationship. It might be intimacy benefits, love, and care among others. The moment a person doesn’t meet all or even just half of what they are looking for, the resort to cheating. 

9.The desire to explore. I must say this is very common among women. Some couples start dating at a very young age and with time, the relationship gets boring. Their sex life becomes so basic. Someone might be interested in trying different sex styles that the partner isn’t into.

However different people react differently towards a partner that has cheated. Its not the end of the world and not everyone is perfect however keep these in mind when deciding.

Do you still want the relationship? 

Can the two of you talk about what happened?

Can you trust your partner again? 

Does your partner still want the relationship?

I always encourage couples to have those questions in mind before making final decisions because they often cause misery to themselves. 

If he/she has cheated try to find out why before throwing the whole relationship away.

 At times separating is not always the answer to everything. Some people are broken internally and they need help. Don’t let your source of happiness trip off when you can help. I’m not saying you should stay in a toxic relationship when you’re not happy. All I am saying is fight for happiness if it’s still their. 

1.Don’t give your partner reason to look aside.

2.Don’t make your partner feel unwanted or unappreciated.

3.Don’t hide your true self from your partner. 

4.Always remind your partner why you fell in love with them. 

5. Give each other the respect, love, care and trust that y'all deserve. If you don't love someone be brave enough to walk away from them. It will only hurt more if you wait.

Inconclusion, i think love is the most beautiful thing. Waking up every morning to see someone you love next to you. Getting to spend the whole day with them, laughing, talking, cuddling and just enjoying each others company.  But before you decide to leave someone after they cheat, please ask why they did it. Maybe you could be the problem. Ask for closure so that you do better in your next relationship. 

You can't just run away and carry your same mistakes to the next relationship. 

Well, why did your partner cheat on you/ why did you cheat on your partner?